thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
