shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
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