Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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