Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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