We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
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