Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
