Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
