You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He passed out mid-signature
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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