why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
