At least make sure they are 18
Why
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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