its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
