she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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