Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
