Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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