If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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