The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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