Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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