It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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