Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he thought i was a dude.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
When did angry sex become our thing?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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