I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
