I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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