Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
