so explain again why im purple
no
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
