So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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