No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
