Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
