i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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