You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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