I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
