Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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