Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
