Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
