Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
