Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
