i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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