its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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