She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
