So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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