I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
