Just mADE A PArabola og urine
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
