No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
