I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Crop dusting thru forever 21
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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