I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
