The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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