how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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