i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
