I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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