I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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