I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Your dad touched me again.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
