Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
