she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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