Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
