hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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