Screwed.edu
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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