All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
