Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
