as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
