Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you will always have a special place in my vag
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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