Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
