he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
