Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
