No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
