Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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