It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
