Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
