Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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